Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Got ink? o_O

Er...hello. Its me again; and yes I'm bored. Too jobless if you ask me. There has to be some law againist this kind of laziness. I have to warn you though. If you are not articulate or fluent in nonsense, please stop here. Its not going to get any more intresting than it already is. Thank you. And don't come back either.

Ok. On to today's not so random topic... Tattoos. Beautiful expressions of body art...or are they?! I once saw the defination of a tattoo as 'dermatological graffitti'. Lemmi break it down for yall. The tattoo artist has this pen looking thingamajig with a needle sharp tip, that he uses to draw or rather 'express his artistic prowess' just beneath the skin of the subject i.e. the idiot gettin the tattoo. Needless to say its a beautifully painful experience. Key word. Painful. If you however don't have the stomach for it, don't. Please don't. Or else you'll find yourself wincing in pain in a darkly decorated room with demonic pictures furnishing the walls like yours truly. Hint *not pretty especially if you're a guy with a chic watchin*

They range between 1500 and infinity Ksh depending on the size and detail required. A waste of hard earned cash if you ask me.

Well although the tattoo may be greviously painful, it does not remotely compare with the torment that comes with its removal. Those of you with relatively creative imaginations may make reference to the above displayed portrait. Yeah. Its that bad. The rest...what are you still doing reading this post?!

My opinion is that tattoos are 'graffitized' (told you twas stupid) on three kinds of peoples as discussed below;

1) Peeps with strong emotional imbalances. These are the kind that find solace in consoling their emotions (most oftenly anger) with some form of pain. Where the average human will curse their mouths dry, these lot will sit there and feel the pain (and probably curse as well) to feel better. A SMH wouldn't be enough for these ones. A palm meets face...maybe.

2) The ordinary bloke who sees everyone else inked up and wonders what it would feel like to get one. To you I say, ignore all my advice about the pain. Heck! Go get a tattoo!! After all, everybody's doing it! Whats the worst that can happen right?! You won't'll probably get killed but who knows you might get to be wiser in your next life.

3) These is the second offenders category. Inspired to get their first tattoo because of the first two reasons but have come back for more. Reasons,

a) They came back for an 'adjustment' of their current tattoo. Relevant examples are engraved names of ex-lovers (WTF were you thinking).

b)Peeps may also come back because they just love the pain. Reference for this section shall be made to all painted hiphop rappers and Vybz Kartel.

c) Or you're just a darn right retard. Hang in there maen. Jesus loves you. But you're still going to hell.

Yup. Thats basically it. I'm not going to detail the kind of tattoos that peeps have these days. Crazy times we live in. You'd be shocked.

So if you're a spoilt brat with loads of money to blow, go get an eternal expression of art on your skin. At least you did something with your life.

Just incase yall is wondering, yes I do know the guy that owns that contraption in the picture. Name's Bill. Really nice guy.

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