Friday, November 16, 2012

From the heart.

Today I write from a staircase. I feel all poetic and artistic in the perfect setting to write and express myself. Lol. Screw that shit.
So I've been well thanks for asking. Still alive unfortunately... I'm sorry but I'm not going to do suicide, if you want me to go, you'd better just come do it yourself. Oh, and I got a new girlfriend. Yeah. I dont think she knows about the blog. If she did she wouldnt be with me; judging by all the dumb stereotypes that go with bloggers. I may not have a life, but atleast I have this blog, which is definately more than I can say for most of you creeps... I also have a girlfriend. And she's pretty. Very pretty if I dont say so myself.
So this blog has seen my worst and best moments. It serves somewhat of a memoire to remind me of how pathetic my life has been over the last couple of years. I actually love to write. Very random things if I may add. I find a certain solace in words. They are probably the most flexible and malleable of symbols to convene emotion. I actually had a diary of sorts where I wrote out all my thoughts. I actually had-attempted only in vain- to keep it a secret. But when my mother bought me another identical book for my birthday 'coincidentally' after the original one filled up, I gave up; both on writing and keeping secrets. I actually suck at keeping secrets. If you want the world to know it, tell it to G.
Okay. Back to the real point here. My girlfriend. I find it almost impossible to hold a conversation with someone without making reference to twitter. So in the same regard, I once saw this tweet, 'You know life has been kind to you if you never find yourself doing things that you stood aganist.' Well with the way my life has been a roller coaster the last couple of weeks, I've engaged in my fair share of 'Catch me dead doing...'s' some totally irrelevant in this context and others... Not quite too much. This whole relationship included. After my last one, I seriously vowed not to get into another relationship so long as I was still in school. I know all of us have had that one. It can be equated to the 'I will never drink another drop of alcohol in my life' phrase most frequently said the morning after. But life has its own little way of showing us who's boss. Fast forward several months later and here I am, no regrets and enjoying every second of it.
But I am insecure. Its one of my worst vices. Its rarely predominant in how I handle my life and issues but it is there.
Like today for instance, we had our first disagreement. Ladies (who read this blog, though I doubt you exist), the only piece of advice I can give you as relates the men in your life, they want to feel wanted. Every man wants to feel important and useful to you. And yes, I said every man, particularly men you share a relationship with- dads, brothers, boyfriends, clandestine boy toys, secret lovers name it. Its like a basic need. When you laugh at our corny jokes and want us to do stuff for you, we like that sh¡t. No. Correction... Love it. We may not always show it, but its actually true.
So imagine my frustration when my girlfriend enjoys being in the company of every other guy except me. She finds solace in confiding in my neighbour the reason she's mad at me rather than tell it to me herself. That she'd be laughing with a couple of guys and then suddenly change her mood when I get into the room. I'm pissed. Irked actually. But what you gonna do about it... Smile and wave. All I have is the hope that kesho will be a better day than today was.

Plus I just heard her scream to someone, 'I (curse word) have a boyfriend!!'
It prolly is going to be a good night day after all.

Ignore all I just said. Have a good morning.

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1 comment:

  1. 'You know life has been kind to you if you never find yourself doing things that you stood aganist.'haha now i know...things will get better