Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Break___up </3 -Sequel

6) Oh no she didn't.

If you opt for the stalk route, you will definately find what you were looking for even if it isn't there. Let me explain. To you, everything she posts will be (is) addressed directly or indirectly at you. For instance, she will post, 'Had a great day with my girls today. Love you guys.' In your head, she's just trying to show you how much she's having a good time without you. The bitch! Or for instance, she posts 'Happy Birthday baby brother!!'  To you- she din't even wish me a happy birthday! She's showing me how much of a 'good time' she's having without me around. Ha! She'll be back. She's nothing without me! However there are those exes that post direct messages at you without a care for modesty. Tweets like 'I now realize how happy I am without you in my life.' or 'Single life is so much more cooler' can never be interpreted to refer to anyone else but you. Or then again, they might opt for step #1 and flirt aimlessly with other guys, post almost naked photos of herself on facebook just to make you feel the pinch of what you 'lost'. Solution?! #

7) Return fire. *enter subaru*

Now for those of you who aren't avid tweeps or are unfamilliar with the phrase, to 'subaru' a person is to make direct utterances at them. Mostly of a negative nature. So the bitch thinks I'm gonna take this lying down?! Well you got another thing coming! If you are the kind to act on impulse, this step i definately a recurring one. It ranges from taking lyrics from songs to send a message through to posting the dirty linen of your relationship online. No particular song comes to mind right now  but you get the point. If you don't, break up with her and follow up on all these steps till this one. And I dunno why, but there's usually a scheme plotted by your radio, computer, phone and Ipod to cause you misery by just playing stupid lameass nostalgic music that makes you remember her. This may lead on to #

8) a) Friends?! Friends!

At some point, either you or her will suck up your egos and say a hi. This will probably be the most awkward of conversatios you will ever have in your life. Basic example. 'Hi?!' 'Hey?! Wassup?' 'Nothing much. You?!' 'Same old. Same old' The end. The life of this conversation is dependant on who is willing to suck up their ego down to their gut and open up. Something that rarely happens. At some point (maybe) one of you will want to be 'just friends' which can be both a good and bad idea. Good because you don't feel as lonesome as you did before and bad because more often than not you cannot stand to see her happy without you in her life. Thus leading on to #

8) b) Enemies?! No. Frenemies. Agreed!

Just as fast as you guys become friends, you stop talking to each other. Majorly because you have nil quorum. The both of you are hardly capable of maintaining a conversation without bringing up the past. And we dont want that now do we?! So it becomes an on and off thing. You talk today, skip a few days, say hello, MIA for a month, the story goes on and on and on...and as of now I really dont think it ever comes to an end.

9) #TeamForeveralone

Now this has two sides, you will either get into another relationship sooner or later or she will. Either can come first and I dare say that one is inspired by the other. If she gets in a relationship before you, my advice, sit back and watch. First they'll start posting sensless love messages to each other via social media professing their love for each other. 'Who's awesome?! You're awesome.' 'No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' No you're awesome.' Makes me sick. And the best/worst part is that the poor chap doesn't know he's being used. You'd tell him but just chill and see how far they're going to take this. *popcorn please*

10) All together now.

Now all above nine steps are to be repeated. Not in any particular order but yeah. From the rebounds, to the subarus, the reality that the other person actually exists. Sometimes you can add a pinch (or a truckload) of violence in there for flavour. But it always turns out ugly.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4